Thursday, October 29, 2009

Inner politics: A battle of talking heads

There is not a news channel today that does not serve up a mosaic of talking heads
, with a variety of credentials to comment on the days latest events. They claim to do this to present a "balanced perspective", or maybe just to make for more entertaining television. There are often moments in the broadcast where these experts in the heat of disagreement, are talking over one another and you can't understand a thing. Well, being inside my head is not much different... other than the fact that I don't have a show host to bring order in the midst of chaos, and my inner debates are not so entertaining.

In my head I have a panel of experts that have to comment on every darn thing I do, did, think of doing ! One says it's a great idea, one says it will never work; one says it's a bargain, another I can't afford it; one says I am right, one says I am always wrong; one says I am so lucky, one says things get the idea? How can one think, no less move forward with all these voices talking at once?

Listen up: I have learned (but hardy mastered) that my voices, or others who are trying to tell me something, don't stop until they have been heard, but moderating your own inner panel is way too hard. Talking to friends is often helpful, but most are not skilled at distinguishing which of your voices is talking. Thank goodness I have one who is.

Her name is Barbara Biziou, and besides being a renowned author, inspirational speaker, personal and corporate coach and creator of empowering programs and rituals , she is trained in a technique called Voice Dialogue. She is my personal Wolf Blitzer, Barbara Walters, and Henry Kissinger, an artful questioner, acute listener and tactful politician. During just 2 sessions with her, she has introduced me to the many voices that vie for attention in my head.

Meet "Creative Cathy"; "Critical Carl"; "Loving Linda" and "Ruth the Worrier".
I gave my voices these names, though others might refer to them as voices of the inner child; critical parent; wise woman and other archetypes. I am beginning to recognize who is talking in my head, and if their opinion is not warranted, I thank them for sharing and invite them to leave. In the case of the talking heads on TV, you can turn down the volume, change channels or turn them off with a click. With Voice Dialogue, though not as instant as a remote control, you can embrace all of your selves, and learn how to choose at any moment which voice should have the floor. I highly recommend this technique, which teaches you how to manage your talking heads. Barbara is based in New York City but you can also find Voice Dialogue practitioners in your area by going to the site highlighted above. If you live in the NY area be sure to check out Barbara's site for her many wonderful programs)

Another way to control the volume and "change channels" is using scent. Though the effects may not be as long lasting, we can shift our attention with a sniff. The receptors in our brain that perceive scent are directly connected to our limbic system..the control center of our emotions, memory and autonomic nervous system. Bypassing our thinking brain, it can interrupt or lower the volume of a chattering voice. Nervous Nellie can be pushed out by Laid- back Linda with some deep breaths of lavender. Resigned Rita can get in gear with a good dose of Rosemary. For more information on scents to help you change channels see the new essential oil guide on my AROMAWEAR website.

PS: One of my voices is reminding me to tell next posts will include exciting product news for the upcoming holidays. If you can't wait, you can go to and see for yourself!